Open Letter from a Ukrainian Writer to a Russian General of the Chief Intelligence Directorate
Artur Balayev
Source: Nash Rayon
Translated & edited by Voices of Ukraine
Moscow, Russian Federation
Nikolay Golubkov, Lieutenant-General of the Chief Intelligence Directorate
Kolya, hello!
Sorry for addressing you through the media, but my attempts to find the phone number or the address of a Chief Intelligence Directorate General were a failure. How many years has it been since we last met? If I’m not mistaken, it was in autumn of 1985, in Tiraspol, where I was on a chance work trip. I remember the warm, pleasant evening, and your joyful look. On that day, you, then a Commander of an intelligence company, were promoted to Captain, and you were glowing with happiness. We had a great talk, we remembered all our friends, and we hugged tight before parting. Back then, could I imagine that a day would come when Russian soldiers would take Ukrainians prisoners and point their Kalashnikovs at them?…
…I’m writing to you, Kolya, because in all our four years of training in the Baku Combined Arms Command School, you’ve been an exceedingly good guy – not a snitch, not a rat, never faking illness to ditch a forced march, and always the top of the class. On top of that, you looked stunning – a real Russian bogatyr [epic warrior], straight from the legends. And this is why I’m really hoping for your help…
…This morning, I phoned Dima Kaplun in Kyiv, and I could barely recognize his voice. You know why? Because our mate has two sons, and Dima knows first-hand what war is like. He, colonel in reserve, isn’t afraid of dying, but is afraid of losing his sons. Then I called Sasha Zelentsov in Dnipropetrivsk. He’s raising a daughter. Igor Ploskonos, Hero of the Soviet Union, passed away several months ago, but he is survived by his family, in Kyiv. I also have a son. Tell me, Kolya, why does Putin want to take our children away? How have our boys and girls wronged your President, what are they guilty of? Hasn’t he gorged himself full of blood and money yet? Maybe that’s finally enough? You and I both know that scary stories about “Ukrainian fascists murdering Russian-speakers” or “149 thousand Crimeans being ready to leave the peninsula” are nothing but the product of diseased imagination of the members of Russian Parliament [Duma], driven mad by their insane capitals. You know this better than I do. There isn’t a single video on the internet where Ukrainians are abusing Russians. There are no videos showing thousands of refugees, either. I do occasionally see fascists on Youtube, though – when they are walking down the streets of today’s Moscow. Maybe Putin should rather take care of fascists at home? I’m a Russian speaker too, you know, and can’t speak Ukrainian, but somehow, no one’s trying to disembowel me or hang me upside down…
…I made a decision – in case of mobilization, I will go to the enlisting office and, despite my rank as an officer in reserve, request to be a grenade launcher operator. You want to know why? Because the good advice of an older soldier will be a great help to the unseasoned boys. They can barely shoot, anyway. Whereas I can easily set an APC or IFV on fire. But I shudder to think about doing that, because on board of those vehicles will be more 20-year-old boys, whose mothers are waiting for them at home. I don’t know as for you, Kolya, but I had to bring zinc coffins home, and I will never forget the cold hands of a mother, clutching my throat, her eyes, driven mad by grief, and the words that stabbed through my heart like a knife – “You bastard! Take this box away, and bring my son back!” And today, I have to kill Russian boys, someone’s children, the same age as my son? How will I live with this, Kolya?…
Yet another shock: yesterday, on my way home from the bakery, I was talking to a neighbor. She was speaking Ukrainian, and I couldn’t understand some words, so I asked her to speak Russian. You know what she said? “I’m sorry, Artur, but I will not speak the fascists’ language, it’s a matter of principle!” Kolya, what are you doing? The language of Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Chekhov, Sholokhov, Bondarev, Granin – became a symbol of fascism. That is terrifying…
…In 2008, when Russia pulled off a similar bold solution in Georgia, I was naïve enough to believe the “big brother,” and took Russia’s side. I wrote to Sasha Elbakidze (a colonel in the reserve who went through the “hot zones,” and currently lives and works in Tbilisi), and in my letter, I called Saakashvili a monster and a madman. Sasha told me, “Mate, don’t believe a single word you hear on Russian TV, it’s all lies…” I told him I trusted Putin, and we haven’t talked since. Today, I must write to my old friend and apologize…
…Ukrainian Channel One transmits audio footage of the Russian special troops assaulting the Ukrainian marine brigade – sounds of fighting, and shouts, “Scum! Faggots! Surrender!” Do you remember, Kolya, that many years ago, someone was shouting at our grandfathers, near Moscow and near Kyiv, “Russian swine! Surrender!” Do you remember who those were, those people with Schmeisser guns? Today, millions of people all over the world are saying that Putin is the new Adolf Hitler – but did you all become fascists because of that? I don’t want to give you any advice, I just want to ask you: if you and your friends have any chance, any chance at all, to influence the course of events – do everything you can to prevent bloodshed, of our children and of yours. Are you afraid? Scared of Putin? Then I’ll tell you two stories. A guy from our year, Azik Ganizadeh. During the Karabakh conflict, he blocked an Armenian village, but made a corridor and let all civilians leave. He must’ve been scared too, because his commanders were screaming down his radio, shouting orders to exterminate all Armenians, threatening him with a tribunal… But Azik let every single one of them go. Then he spent seven long years in prison, but he remained a HUMAN, and became a hero. Another guy, Karen Afoyan, he must’ve also been scared, when, being the military commandant of Stepanakert city, he didn’t let Armenian radicals execute Azerbaijani prisoners. He protected their lives with his own, knowing that he was signing his death warrant. That very night, our ‘Afonya’ was murdered, shot in the back, God rest his soul…
…My new novella is titled “Operation Old Yearbook.” It is dedicated to our company. The story goes: a fifty-year-old sick special ops veteran is taken hostage by an oligarch. His friend finds an old yearbook in his attic, and in it, the addresses of all guys from their military school platoon. He tracks them all down, whoever is still alive, and plans an operation to free their friend, operation ‘Old Yearbook.’ Now, I don’t know how to finish writing this story…
…I am placing my hopes in you, Kolya. I wish you all the best and good health.
Embracing you as a friend,
Artur Balayev
