By Alexander Noynets, Petr i Mazepa
Translated and edited by Voices of Ukraine
We roughly understand why this war goes on, and why it goes on specifically like this. Because Putin does not need to win, he needs us to lose. He has already won once – in Crimea. Sent in the troops, stole the peninsula, and in return got such a response from the international community that the economy now can’t gather its bones, the Iskanders are tired of crying. [Editor: Russian meme on t-shirts “Sanctions? Don’t make my Iskanders laugh.”]
So to win, as in, to do all of that which the patriotic idiots in the RF [Russian Federation] call on him to do, send in the troops fully, riddle each house from Luhansk to Odessa with bullet holes, kill a hundred thousand of his and two million of ours, is something he does not want to do under any circumstances. Putin wants us to lose. So that we capitulate. And for us to capitulate, it’s necessary to rattle his balls so loudly and so terribly that we shake at the knees and understand that, screw all this, Vladimir Vladimirovich, let’s instead negotiate. Put your overseers in the Donbas, put whomever you want as a Vice Minister in our Cabinet, we agree to everything, piss on us but just don’t hit us.
So, basically, he needs to scare us with something. To show us something frightening. And, notice, it’s not only us they are scaring. They scare Europe just as frenetically. Their interceptors violate the airspace of Baltic countries. Some policemen disappear. Politicians get told in private about a two-week blitzkrieg to Kyiv. Why do all this? If they had wanted to bite, they would have bitten. Like they wanted to bite off Crimea. So Lavrov or Putin didn’t threaten anyone with anything, they just stole it and that was it.
But here no-one has been planning to steal anything for a long time now. Maybe at first he wanted to, but then changed his mind. Looking at the Boeing, or at the sanctions, or at the oil. It does not matter now. But he changed his mind. And started to concentrate not on conquest, but on intimidation.
They are showing us all the scariest things that exist in RF. It’s even gone as far as Ramzan Akhmadovich whom all of Russia is scared of, including Putin. Ramaan Akhmadovich lined up twenty thousand of his moron buddies on a stadium and promised to punish the punishers, just give the order. And the moron buddies confirmed – as far as punishing, they sure do love that. They did not take into account that in Ukraine no-one is scared of Kadyrov, but thank you for the attempt, it turned out very cinematic.
Motorola with Givi [sidekick] recorded a whole stand-up in their time. Telling us how, like, they will murder everyone, ya dig? The audience didn’t appreciate the stand-up.
My friend Sasha Zolotko, back in the day was on Hrushevsky St at that exact night when it was necessary to be on Hrushevsky, and now, as you likely know, serves in the 5th Company of the 28th Separate Guards Mechanized Brigade. Now his platoon is always being sent from Kurakhovo to the front and back and, you know, he is very upset. The reason is that Sasha went to serve, as he explained, “like a lad.” And since then he is still waiting when he will finally end up in a situation where he shits himself from fear. And that situation never happens. It’s not scary.
And you know, it was never scary. I have had to experience different emotions in the past year. 11 months ago or so I was prepared that at any moment the forces of the RF could enter Kyiv, and it would be necessary to hide the family somewhere and to wage insurgent activity. Obviously, not for very long, because I am likely completely useless as an insurgent. But, it was still not scary. I looked at photographs of the “polite people” [“little green men”] and thought mostly that, hey look what a wonderful collimator, EOTech, we have these for 500 bucks a piece, and with a magnifier too, Putin’s supermarket sure equips you well, assholes. Wish the Lord would make it so I can catch one of these layabouts, then I’d also have a collimator and a magnifier. And that’s all I thought.
Then they took Sloviansk. Cut open an MP’s stomach. Started hunting the dissenters. They ran out of dissenters, and started hunting everyone, whoever wears a red vest is a fire controller.
And still it was not scary. You look at Ponomarev, with his golden tooth, and you think, bloody hell, how lucky the guy is to have this much fun on the last year of his life. Otherwise he’d have drunk himself to death or gone to jail, and like this he’ll get killed or go to jail, but how beautifully. He will play his most important role in life – the role of the drugged-up nutter from Tarantino films. Not all drugged-up nutters are lucky enough to gather such a large audience as Ponomarev.
And your mind tells you that exactly this nutter with the golden tooth was chosen deliberately. That he is intended to frighten. He is exactly what should frighten intelligent people, the translators of public opinion – a redneck, golden tooth, a low-brow hedgemon. And yet it’s still not scary. You feel anger, disappointment, sadness, hatred, powerlessness; any negative emotion you can name, I have felt it over the past year. But not fear.
This Gubarev with a dead face. Girkin with the image of a ruthless white officer on morphine. “Bes” with his staged executions. And all they do all the time is yap. Release some documents, make statements, take responsibility, deny responsibility, overthrow Chieftain Vasya and replace them with Chieftain Kolya. From morning until night there is some bubbling, which would have long ago lost the attention of the audience, if this factory of freaks didn’t produce corpses. But it does produce corpses, and first and foremost, corpses of the local population, whom all of this fraternity, as it tries to less and less convincingly assure us, seeks to protect.
This is the task of a terrorist. It is actually what terrorism is in its pure form. Capture an object, demand a million billion for ransom, and if they don’t agree – kill hostages until they do agree. Basically, intimidate. You can’t kill those who you want to intimidate, but you can kill hostages, and play on nerves.
Now they’ve shot up a checkpoint at Volnovakha. Before this they shelled it with Grad without much of an effect, and on the second day they got lucky, by God’s allowance they hit a bus full of civilians. Ten corpses on the spot, another woman died later, maybe, now, as you read this, there is more still.
You can get the impression that the militants got unlucky. They wanted to hit a checkpoint, but hit a bus. I disagree. On the contrary. They got lucky. The checkpoint doesn’t care, the soldiers are not scared of Grads for half a year now, for the soldier it is daily life. And a terrorist cannot scare a soldier, it is the other way around, it is the soldier who scares the terrorist, because he seeks him out and kills him. And the only protection the terrorist has from the soldier are civilians. Because the soldier must protect civilians, and the terrorist must kill them and then put the blame for this onto the soldier.
So if the terrorists had carried on shelling the checkpoint, it would have changed nothing. One more boring Thursday. But the terrorists got lucky. They managed to attract attention to themselves, to show how they are such psychopathic lunatics. To confirm their image. An image that was carefully created with dead-eyed Gubarevs and golden-toothed Ponomarevs, Motorollas, Babays and other unimportant but heavily armed filth which is only missing jewellery in their ears for the full picture.
This is exactly what the terrorists seek. This is exactly what Putin seeks. To demonstrate their complete insanity. To scare with danger, cruelty, unpredictability. “Don’t touch me, I am mental!”
And do you know what?
It’s not scary.
I feel sorry for the people. I want to write something like, what kind of dumbasses are you guys, why are you killing the civvies, one of them probably voted for you, morons, on your shitty referendum. So, probably, some of them are probably a bulwark of your power. Maybe some of them, back in the spring, even stopped Ukrainian APCs for you, idiots. And now you hit him with a rocket like this, you shouldn’t do that, guys.
Only what’s the point of saying this? The victims of a terrorist, even those with Stockholm Syndrome, will still remain as cannon fodder to him. A dozen or so corpses for a terrorist who has several million by him are not victims, the terrorist in this case thinks not with human lives, but with statistical categories, in which a dozen people does not mean anything, while for the bleeding-heart weakling Ukrainians it shakes and shocks them, and that means it was a good investment of the missile into the bus.
What are you trying to scare us with? Your idiotic unpredictability? Who gives a damn about your idiotism, go scare your mum with how dumb her kids are. With death? But it’s right here, at every step around us. You have done so much damage that now no-one here is afraid of death. And, therefore, for a long time now, here, no-one is afraid of you.
We are Crimea. We are Luhansk. We are Donetsk. We are Sloviansk. We are Savur-Mohyla. We are Snizhne. We are Shakhtarsk. We are Ilovaisk. We are Volnovakha. We are Ukraine.
And the terrorists will die.
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