By Aleksandr Karavashenko
Translated and edited by Voices of Ukraine
My acquaintance from the city of Enerhodar recently told me about her neighbor.
The neighbor also lives in Enerhodar (Zaporizhzhya oblast [region]), and her father named Dodik (he is under 70) has been living in Israel for a long time. Today, he appeared on camera for their Skype video call holding a compress over a considerable shiner under his left eye. The daughter got worried:
– Dad, what happened?
– My dear, I escaped the worst, but my neighbor Marek wasn’t so lucky, he got hit in the head with a brick.
– What, I don’t understand what’s happening, have the Arabs rebelled again?
– No, dear, it’s worse, Moskals [derogatory for Russians] are beating us!
– What??? Can you please explain to me what Moskals are doing in Israel?! – the daughter exclaimed, alarmed.
– You know, Marek and I went to the Ukrainian embassy, since we are from Ukraine. And what exactly have we done, we only managed to shout “Glory to Ukraine!” twice, when the Russian Jews, the ones who are pro-Russia, started throwing stones at us. We call them Moskals. Most of all, I was shocked by my neighbor Sopha, we’ve been living across from her for 20 years now, so she and her son kept throwing the bricks and stones at us with Marek and shouted that we were “Banderite mugs.” Someone hit me, and I was barely able to run to the car, but Marek was taken to the hospital! Can you imagine, I was called the “Zhyd [derogatory for Jewish man] mug” in the Soviets, and now I’ve become a “Banderite mug” in Israel! How do you like that? Ok, I’ll go change the compress.
– Dad, I will definitely call you tomorrow!
The next day, when the daughter Skyped her father again, she saw him sporting a metal contraption on his head. On the front was sloppily written with fresh paint: “Ukraine.”
The events in Ukraine have divided [the people in Israel] into two camps.
– Dad, has something happened again, why are you wearing a pot on your head?
– My dear daughter, this is not a pot, but our Israeli helmet, I am wearing it so I don’t have my head broken. Marek is feeling better, so we are going to the Ukrainian embassy again, but now wearing our helmets.
– Dad, have you completely gone out of your mind, you are almost 70?! Why on earth would you put your head under stones and bricks?! Don’t go to any embassy, do you hear me?
– How can I not go, if the world is going mad? Yesterday, the Russian Jews had a fight with the Ukrainian [Jews] by the Wailing Wall, sacred for all Jewish people. And you know, the Russians beat our people just because there were more of them. And all of them are watching Russian TV channels!
– Wait, Dad, but you supported Russia as well. No?
– Yes, I did. But you told me yourself that everything is quiet in Ukraine and no one defiles Jewish synagogues, and so it means that the Russian channels are lying. And Marek has confirmed it. So, I came to Ukraine’s side, we moved to Israel from there after all. Russia wants to occupy Ukraine, and I am worried about you.
– Dad, we never had a synagogue in Enerhodar, and that is why no one could defile it, and our station is safely guarded like any nuclear object. Everything is quiet here. Dad, I am begging you, sit at home, you can get hurt!
– Well, now I have the helmet. And the Moskals have gotten so insolent, they have taken our Crimea! No, I will go to the Ukrainian embassy and will start shouting: “Glory to Ukraine!”
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