You will answer for Sevastopol, Mr. Putin

By Mykola Avdeyev, FLOT2017, Information Resistance group
03.08.2014  10:52 am
Translated and edited by Voices of Ukraine

Eurasian Union is a project for conservation of identity of the peoples populating the historic Eurasian space in the new century and the new world. Eurasian integration is a chance for the territory of the former Soviet Union to become an independent center of global development, rather than [remain] the periphery of Europe or Asia,”  –Vladimir Putin, 2013.

Part One if wishes were horses…

So, this week has been swift, long, erratic and unexpected. But in the midst of this stream of events, some very interesting things started to become evident.

1. The main good news for March 7, 2014, for me, was a report that some person from Ukraine, a Mister Viktor Y. [Yanukovych], was hospitalized at one of the medical institutions in Moscow, in serious condition. The reason being, a suspected heart attack. His condition is rated as serious. Although Vladimir Putin has denied this information, saying that Viktor Y. “is alive and well,” I have already developed a habit of telling Volodya [diminutive from Vladimir],  “I don’t believe you.” Despite denial, reports of Viktor Y.’s myocardial infarction may not have been exaggerated after all, for his role in the “Crimea” blockbuster has come to an end. Thus, nobody else needs him. Neither Putin, nor his own wife, nor the Ukrainians, nor the Russians. This raises one more question: how are Russian authorities planning to establish a dialogue with their Ukrainian counterparts, if the only legitimate body has started to gradually wither away? (We’ re expecting to answer this question in the second part of this analysis.)

2. Another piece of good news at the end of this week was that a bunch of separatists in Odesa and other eastern cities of Ukraine were herded back into their proverbial stable. That was made possible, among other things, by closing the border (an action that has been mentioned as necessary for a while), and by appointing new heads of oblast [regional] administrations.

3. I was overwhelmed with happiness when I realized that the “little green men” had no intention of fighting at this time. Moreover, according to reports from besieged Sevastopol, a few interesting points became obvious. First: the “little green men” were prepared to fight, but then “Banderites” from the Ukrainian Navy and the Border Guard did something unexpected – they switched to “Russian” mode and gave an asymmetrical response. They refused to beat their “illiterate and uneducated older brothers.” Second: the “little green men” were not ready for such a strange response, but continued to follow their pre-approved script. Third, and the most important point: no one had planned for such an unorthodox response of the Russian “Banderites,” which leads to a conclusion that’s quite unfortunate for Someone. Either the military intervention of Ukraine was planned by a fool who failed to study the situation in Crimea thoroughly; or the person who signed the respective document was purposefully slipped a “black mark.”

Even the fact that the “little green men” scuttled another one of their ships in [Lake] Donuzlav only points to one thing: the Russian army is once again back in 1941, when the lack of communication among the troops resulted in a situation best described by a big “F.” The situation is exactly the same now – the “little green men” had a script that said “drown two of your ships,” so they scuttled them. At the same time, a question arises: who will be getting those ships up and out? Although, I fear that whoever it is, it won’t be the Ukrainian Navy.

4. This point follows from the preceding one above. Russia’s pre-approved scenario assumes Russia is forcing the issue of a referendum, whether in a state of war or in post-war conditions. Hence the staggering speed at which the date of referendum on the status of Crimea keeps changing. Moreover, the flow of frank disinformation poured into the ears of Crimean population has already started to induce vomiting. And that is remarkable.

Even the Russian news agency “RIA Novosti,” always known for its restraint in covering any events, is currently churning out outright misinformation ( [article claiming that retirement benefits in Ukraine would be cut by 50% in March]).

Against this background, the statement by the First Deputy Prime Minister of Crimea Rustam Temirgaliev looks particularly interesting. On March 6, 2014, he said that “70% or more of the Crimean population will vote for it to join Russia.”

Why “70% or more?” Why not 55% or 63%, but exactly 70%?

We think it happened something like this. The little man who planned Operation Crimea simply pulled up the first search result on the Internet, opened the hyperlink, read the Russian article about the Crimean population, selected where it said “70%”, pressed CTRL+C, CTRL+V, and… voila. We have a magic number, from the article commissioned by the VVP [Vladimir Putin], written by a fool of a journalist, then copied by a fool of a soldier. Maybe he paused to think, “Is 70% the right number?” But then he remembered the words of the VVP himself- that 90% of Crimeans are Russians – and reassured himself, “Yes, that has to be correct.” So, my dear Crimeans, sleep easy on the night of March 16, and just go about your business – because “70% or more” Crimeans from Pskov, Ulyanovsk, Tolyatti, Novorossiysk, and other Russian cities will vote for you. After all, they are also Russian and therefore have the right to decide the fate of their Russian counterparts.

5. Since today is International Women’s Day, let’s dedicate this paragraph to Ms. Valentina Matvienko – the Speaker of the Federation Council. Despite her high station, Ms. Matvienko is not known for her consistency. Back on March 2, 2014, the SPEAKER OF THE FEDERATION COUNCIL OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION promised our “illegitimate” government that “any annexation of the territory of the neighboring country is out of the question.” Then, on March 7, 2014 the speaker does a literal 180, and announces that “Crimea will be a part of the Russian Federation as an equal subject of the Russian Federation, if the decision on Crimea’s accession will be made in the Republic [Autonomous Republic of Crimea] through the referendum, and if Russia agrees to accept it.” No offense to Ms. Matvienko, but U-turns on such serious matters are hardly permissible for the speaker of the Federation Council. Unfortunately, the answer to this question is already prepared, in the Second part of my story titled “How the Cossacks put the Tsar in a compromising position.”

This is the end of Part One. To wrap up, I’d like to remind some residents of Crimea that the number of the Black Sea Fleet contingent specified in the agreement between Russia and Ukraine does not provide for deployment of the units of the Russian GRU [Intelligence Directorate] or Air Forces on the territory of Ukraine. Moreover, the contract does not have any clauses saying that units of the Black Sea Fleet or any other masked gangs are authorized to blockade Ukrainian military units and starve our servicemen to death.

One more thing. If whoever is reading this is wearing a green uniform (or a suit by Yudashkin), tell Volodya [Putin] that I am RUSSIAN, but thanks to him I am now saying, “Glory to Ukraine!”

And happy holiday to our lovely women!

To be continued…

This entry was posted in "Voices" in English, Analytics, Crimea, English, Languages, News, News summary, Voices of Revolution and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to You will answer for Sevastopol, Mr. Putin

  1. chervonaruta says:

    Reblogged this on Euromaidan PR and commented:

    Military Analyst Mykola Avdeyev is pretty funny and also cuttingly astute as he tells Putin: You will answer for Sevastopol!

  2. Human Relationships says:

    Reblogged this on Human Relationships.

  3. marian rubchak says:

    must the women be “lovely”/ Are the men “lovely”
    Give it a break guys

  4. chornajuravka says:

    Reblogged this on Euromaidan PR.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.