Crimea and Misdemeanors

20.03.2014
jerryadlersnewsverse

Every week, Jerry Adler turns a story from the news into a verse. We were very much bemused by his verse this week! An article that Voices of Ukraine translated from a Turkish newspaper speculating about ancient treaties in Crimean history has proved to be very popular, not only making it to #1 on Reddit’s World News AND Front Pages and garnering close to a couple hundred thousand views, but spiking Adler’s creative juices as well; he turned its intriguing premise into a clever and engaging verse. In a world where borders continue to change hands and be redrawn in alarming ways, these trajectories of history, of conquerings and colonizations, do bear some pondering. Have a read:

Under Ottoman Empire treaty with Catherine the Great if Crimea declares independence it returns to Turkey — Headline from the Voices of Ukraine website

Attention all dictators with imperial ambitions

Conquests often come attached with footnotes and conditions

There isn’t any nation so disorganized and poor

It doesn’t have a lawyer on its diplomatic corps

The country you annexed or stole or conquered in a war

May be subject to a treaty from two centuries before

The Caucasus are full of little quirky traps and snags

So better do a Google search before you plant those flags.

Going back in history the records may get murky

And so a word of caution for the bureaucrats in Turkey

If you claim Crimea and decide that you should press on

Prepare to get a letter from the heirs of Kublai Khan

Source: http://jerryadlersnewsverse.com/2014/03/20/crimea-and-misdemeanors/

Our original translation and link to source article:
https://maidantranslations.com/2014/03/17/turkey-under-ottoman-empire-treaty-with-catherine-the-great-if-crimea-declares-independence-it-returns-to-turkey/

Jerry Adler was a writer and editor at Newsweek for nearly 30 years and wrote more than 120 cover stories in every section of the magazine. He has also written for many magazines including The New Yorker, New York, Wired, Smithsonian and Esquire, two books and the 2009 PBS documentary Medal of Honor. In 2009 he originated Newsverse at Newsweek.com, a weekly satirical poem about politics and (occasionally) life. Archives of Newsverse and a link to Newsverse on The Rachel Maddow Show may be found at: http://jerryadlersnewsverse.com/

Adler on Huffington post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jerry-adler/

Adler on Newseek:
http://www.newsweek.com/authors/jerry-adler

Detail from “The Balance of Power” by artist James Gillray, published by Hannah Humphrey
hand-coloured etching, published 21 April 1791.